Weird how the founding premise is that 'Justice is blind', huh?

I understand (somewhat) where the attitude might come from, but I don't appreciate it and I don't allow it to be displayed in my classroom. Mainly because whatever forces brought them into a home where chaos reigns...it wasn't me. I'm trying to give them tools to be successful, and--just like the middle-class or the moneyed class--the underprivileged have the "I deserve more than this" attitude in spades. I can't make special modifications for behavior based on someone's crappy life and I refuse to do so.

You're right, though. Kids who come from a good life have been shown a better path and there's less sympathy. Kids who've been shown a criminal life have not...but the consequences should be the same. As a 5th grade teacher in an inner-city school, I can tell you that the "attitude" of rudeness and lack of personal responsibility for anything goes deep and it starts young. And then you meet the parents and you understand that this attitude is perpetuated over and over again.

Kid? I could write a book...

Justice should be blind. Unfortunately, those who work in the system aren't and they sometimes work it to their favor.

I teach in special ed so difficult attitudes are part of the job. But kids who come from middle-class families can be just as effed up as anyone else. Kids from middle, upper middle and upper classes can be ignored, have parents that put their own interests in front of their children, have no time for them, and really make a mess of parenting. They can be just as emotionally needy and strike out just as hard as those from more difficult economic circumstances.

I work at a prestigious international school in Beijing, filled with very very wealthy corporate exectuive and diplomatic families. They/We are privileged beyond reason with financial, cultural, and travel opportunities. Parents can be completely permissive and hands off. Kids are given everything monetarily and no direction in life. They are left for weeks in the care of housekeepers who don't speak English (even in elemenary school). Some go to school all day, then attend tutoring sessions for several hours and all weekend. It's not unusual for many Asian kids to only have Sundays off.

Being ignored and raised badly is not a socio-economic ill.

If you live on the west side of LA and the privileged kids' parents are in the entertainment industry, multiply this attitude 10-fold.

Great topic Jenn...my husband is former law enforcement, and became disenchanted with the whole process not while serving in what would be considered underpriviledged areas, but the "good neighborhoods"....parents who could care less that their kids are driving wrecklessly through residential areas, teenagers who think the under age smoking and drinking laws don't apply to them, mothers screaming at and assaulting police who are arresting their little darlings for drug posession and firearms violations...always accompanied by "I'll have your badge" and "I know the DA personally". It was an interesting study in unearned privilege. (a note - this seemed to be the behavioral standard for the ALMOST rich, the folks who have some need to pretend they have more than they do. I wonder if there's any data on that phenomenon.)

He's now pursuing a career in law, and guess who his classmates and coworkers are? Uh huh. Them.

I agree with you, Jenn. And, I do agree with other commenters that there is a whole different type of neglect and bad parenting that comes from wealthier families.

However -- the point, I think, is that when a wealthy kid shows he wasn't raised well and gets into trouble, his family, his community and our society at large (including our justice system) provide a safety net for him that badly raised kids who are poor and/or brown, usually don't have. We may or may not think one kid has more of a reason to display bad behavior than another. That doesn't change the fact that bad behavior is punished in different ways, based on what that kid looks like, where he came from, and who came to his rescue.

@ Stacy--I don't tolerate the attitude either, but I do think understanding and empathy allow me to deal with it appropriately.

@Mamava--I absolutely agree that kids from higher socioeconomic areas can be raised poorly, but I think they have a different cross to bear than kids that have to navigate neighborhoods where there very survival is not a given.

Interesting timing. I was just in court today with my 16 year old granddaughter. Again. She had messed up so many times in the last 3 months, and I was looking forward to the lessons she would be taught when she appeared in front of the judge - for she certainly doesn't listen to, nor respect this family's rules and boundaries. I'm still looking....3 hours later. And I'm shocked. This beautiful (white) girl received a rah-rah speech about her "potential", one charge dropped, violations of probation overlooked....etc., etc. Now, understand...she is already on probation....she's been "in the system" for more than 3 years. And we are STILL in the system, and she keeps getting more chances. This grandma just sat there with her mouth hanging open and shaking my head (I wasn't allowed to talk). Yes, this child has a screwed up childhood with a mother that didn't mother, and aunt who stepped in when her mother didn't want her anymore, a sperm donor who pops in and out of her life occasionally just to mess things up more, half brother and sisters - too many guys in and out of mom's life, constant moving due to evictions, job loss - no safe haven. She is pissed off at the world and frankly has reasons to be pissed...but , she was taught a lesson today (not one I wanted her to learn): if you are pretty, and you cry, and your family sits in the courtroom (big mistake - who knew?), and you make a feeble attempt to apologize, all is well. You just got away with it. Call me "sick to my stomach"....and chicken for not using my real name. Sorry. I left the court room with the deepest sense of sadness.

You're definitely not the only one. I've thought about this so many times. If they have such a "good" family, why are they behaving this way?

Which further cements the sense of entitlement certain people have--and further alienates others from the system--so is it any wonder they don't want to play by the rules? Hearing your outrage loud and clear, dear.

Wait....what?

I suggest you start by leveling the playing field right in your classroom. Relieve yourself of the burden of trying to determine who comes from a good home and who is socio-economically disadvantaged. YOU are taking advantage of your position as a teacher in deciding who has entitlement to attitude in your classroom. Sounds like you have already set yourself against some of your students while championing for others. How is that fair?

Really, I think you are just the flip side of the same coin currently stuck in your craw.

Our first elementary school was in a poor neighborhood, but the school itself was immaculate. The principal (and teachers) had fostered the attitude that no matter where you come from, the expectations here are that you listen and learn and participate, and behave appropriately. It worked out very well for the students. I know there was a lot of time spend educating the adults involved in those kids' lives!

Walking the talk of not rescuing kids by bailing them out of bad situations is definitely not easy!
This year my husband and I are stepping back and not "harping" at one of our teens about his homework. We decided it would be better if he failed while still in high school and still under our care. Even something as simple as this can be so very difficult to keep "hands off" and let the child learn important life lessons, but I'd rather he learned it in a safe zone than out on his own where he could end up homeless. Sorry -- I know that sounds both vague and extreme.

I wish there were more teachers like you! Overly entitled teens from upper- or uppler-middle class homes are a peeve of mine, too. And I completely agree with you. There's a skewed system in place, when a kid from a "good family," i.e., has enjoyed all the benefits of cush living, is cut a break that an economically and healthy-family deprived kid isn't given. Majorly skewed.

The late great Quentin Crisp had exactly the same thoughts when commenting on the trial of French felon and author Jean Genet. Other French poets, writers and intellectuals bombarded the court with pleas for mercy on the grounds that Genet was a genius. Crisp said the judge should have retorted, "Oh, now that I know he is a genius, that changes everything. I had been under the impression that he turned to crime because he was untrained and unfit for other occupations. Now that I learn that he had the intellectual means to pursue other avenues, I find he should be punished more harshly BECAUSE HE IS A GENIUS."

I think a huge issue here that remains understated is lack of parenting skills regardless of etnicity, or socio-economic status. Taught in both poor and priveledged areas and there is no difference in the appalling lack of common sense utilized by either group of parents. Choices may be different : 2 week childless trip to the Andes or 2 week bender while missing from your child's life but the impact is the same. I always tried to make my classroom a safe haven where everyone felt equal and accountable. Also, taught manners and responsibility issues and made sure that they knew education was a golden ticket to whatever they dreamed about. Sometimes discouraged, sometimes downright heartbroken over a student's choice of path, but more often proud to see how a year of learning your own worth could impact them. (Jenn I know you are teaching older kids, I always felt like if I reached them early they might hold onto some of it and it might help with choices later on. Much harder to open a door that has been slammed closed repeatedly. But I do understand your frustration. Keep being an advocate for all of your students and you will be ok.

There was a well publicized situation with high school kids getting lawyered up and getting off easy on a "prank" back when my kids were in elementary school. My husband (a lawyer) and I sat them down and told them if they ever pulled something like that they would have to face the consequences. We would not pull strings or otherwise to get them off if they did something they knew to be wrong. They were pretty shocked - but they agree with us and our stand on these things now.

@ Fluffy--Actually the classroom I am talking about is in a school where all the students receive free lunch. There are no upper middle-class suburban kids.

I was an upper middle class kid with two drunk ass parents, they just put on a good show. Kid's are neglected in all classes, but I agree with you that some parents don't teach their children to be accountable for their actions.

I was an upper middle class kid with two drunk ass parents, they just put on a good show. Kid's are neglected in all classes, but I agree with you that some parents don't teach their children to be accountable for their actions.

Oops posted twice, sorry.