Guidepost: Today I use anatomically correct terms for body parts both inside and out, I speak about transsexuals and I swear twice. I have included one medical drawing of the female sexual organs that is not safe for work. All other photos and links are safe for work.

My mother is very big on being open and honest about sex. She always has been. She gave me Where Did I Come From? pretty early on. My friends and I loved the book but, I confess, I preferred that it not be read aloud, much to my mother's disappointment. Apparently that set a precedent. If you met me in person I'd go a little red-faced and stammery about a lot of the subjects we discuss here but I'll read about them, and now write, too, until the cows come home. Dear Cows, Please stay away. I've got a lot more to say. Thanks, Kizz)

When people started saying they didn't want me (or anyone?) talking about sex here at the Colony (or anywhere?), sure, I was hurt. Who wouldn't be at first? Then I wrestled the gift out of the experience. That fucker was slippery but I finally pinned it. I needed to figure out why I disagreed, why I think it's important to talk about sex, all kinds of sex, here, elsewhere, almost everywhere.

My first answer came in the form of a comment that said in part, "I'm always glad to read Kizz's posts (and the comments) and know I'm not some wackado in bed. Sorry.. I was repressed for a loooong time." I can't stand the thought that someone out there felt she was wrong in some way for wanting sex of certain kinds. Who has the right to make her feel like that? Nobody, that's who. (Dear Commenter, I'm working on a spanking post for you, I promise. Best, Kizz) Sex has been, and continues to be, such a learning experience for me and I got especially lucky with one partner in particular. Together we were able to deeply explore the things we liked or even were curious about with no pressure (well, very little pressure) and no judgment. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say it changed my life.

On the same day as that comment my friend Auntie e-mailed me. Auntie works with at-risk youth on the fringes of the prison system. In the course of that work she addresses issues around jobs, finances and living situations. As part of that she is constantly teaching about health, hygiene, sexuality and relationships. She's good at these things, really good. Auntie e-mailed me because she'd been to a seminar on health and sexuality. Attendees were municipal workers with a variety of jobs but who, in the course of those jobs, would find themselves assisting clients with the aforementioned issues of health, hygiene, sexuality and relationships.

As the seminar leader launched into a quick refresher on female anatomy she hit a snag. It seemed that a fair portion of her audience was unfamiliar with the lay of the land, for instance not understanding that there are two openings in the vagina - the urethral opening and the vaginal canal. Later discussion saw one small group defining a sex act as 'anything involving a penis.' Auntie, a lesbian, raised her hand to request an opportunity to dispute that. Thirdly, one participant described transsexuals as 'mental.'

I don't want anyone here to feel badly if they are in the same position as the other folks in Auntie's seminar. Her colleagues are professionals in the social service field (professionals!) who have chosen a career assisting and educating people about their bodies and the use thereof and they didn't know any of this. I do kind of think they should feel bad. Have they been misinforming clients on anatomical issues all this time? Have they never had a GLBTQ client? How many trans clients have they irreparably damaged? Feeling utterly out of place in one's own body isn't bad enough, you have to listen to an authority figure call you 'mental?' Hell fucking no!

This is why I feel it's important to have a column like this, one that touches on a wide variety of issues, here at the Colony. If you own a vagina I believe you need to know how it works. If you like vaginas I believe you ought to know how they work. If you wonder how certain things might feel I believe you should feel free to find out. If you're confused I believe you deserve clarity. Our bodies can be a great source of pleasure, comfort, excitement, love and joy for ourselves and others. I believe you deserve to reach your greatest potential in all these areas. I believe, you might say, that you deserve to attain your heart's desire.

I also believe it's fine if you disagree with me on any number of those points. I do not believe, though, that I am ready yet to stop talking about bodies and sex and love. All the signs are showing me that there are people out there who want, who need, who deserve to hear more and I know my mother would back me up on that.

Except for the medical photo all photos are mine and can be found here, all rights reserved.

Kizz is a regular WC contributor. If you'd like to continue this discussion in private you can e-mail her at isabeau6 at hotmail dot com. You can read more of her here.